A day off I feel as if i've "wasted" away. Haven't really done much. Migrain and self pitty

Lets get the junk out of the way - Self pity Why's::
           * I woke up late and didn't accomplish a whole lot. Just blatantly feel like crap today. I have a horrible migraine. and i'm sure that is because of stress and lack thereof eating and drinking anything clear today. I drank some org. squirt and coffee. I don't have money to go out and spend on fresh fruits for smoothies until payday..

                     1) Showered

                      2) Did 3 loads of laundry

                       3) Watched 3 Movies with my husband (not pittiful at all just,sat around) 

                        4) Picked up the house a little

                         5) Organized fabric in my scrap bin

                          6) Husband and I went and returned moves at RedBox

                           7) Watched more TV (This I RARELY do)

                            8) Got an Ice Cream cone with husband and brother after he (Bro) decided he nee coffee at 8pm..

So, thats what i've done today. I haven't walked for a couple days. Again, watching what I eat..just not walking. It has been raining lately and I can't afford the cold. I don't have the money to buy any kind of indoor fitness equipment and im feeling bloated (from the lovely wench) for the next few days. (Another issue on the self pitty-the way your insides control you) 

I did eat fried chicken from Albertsons today. I was craving it..its awful..I ate it..it tasted so good.

Okay, enough of the self loathing crap..

So, yesterday in a mad dash to put somthing togeather to eat for work that wasn't "junk"  this is what I came up with:

A freshly peeled cucumber, Pink canned salmon and a large capri sun (wish they had those size things when we were a kid) 

 

Along with a packet of Justins Peanut butter (Honey) YUM.

This was super quick-5 minute thought lunch. I have my protine and my fresh veggie along with a sugary caprisun but,still.. not bad -Under 300 calories for lunch-

Today I have not eaten much just becuase I haven't felt well.

Breakfast- Coffee with creamer

Lunch- Fried chicken

Snack-Party mix-Yougurt pretzals and that kind thing

Squirt Soda 

........... thats it...... not too good.

I am going to jump up here and kick this sweet tooth with a strawberry banana protein  shake.

I have a busy tomorrow planned and I will surely not be sleeping in past 8Am so.. good night.

 

Been eating healthy just not walking.

I have been eating healthy just not walking like I was.
I am a fan of rain but can't afford a cold.
It has been raining here in Oregon if its not raining there is a good chance. I have been "poking" around my house for 3 days and running around with my brother in between the times i'm at home sewing or crafting.
Sleeping in too late and watching movies into the AM with my husband.
I am just taking the time to be with my family right now and staying home rather than walking.
For lunch today I finally got around to making the cevechie .. it was so good..
you can find the recipe here .
Today I found a food processor at The Goodwill for less than a quarter of what I would pay for it new. I was pretty excited for that!

I plan on making homemade goodies with this bad boy...one of them is peanut butter..ive always wanted to try but,didn't have the processor to make it with...and surely a mini chop wouldn't work.
I don't know which part I was more excited about the blender or the processor part.. Its a Cuisinart Duet MSRP $80 got this beut for $14.99 and my husband paid $2 for the processor part..I guess the Goodwill didn't understand its a SET but, may have worked better in my favor! you can buy replacement parts for this thing too which,I plan on doing..I plan on buying a new processor set as a backup. $30..still better than the $80 new i'm pretty proud! And thanks to my hubby for telling me we should go look after I explained my reasoning as to why I wanted one.not needed just..WANTED..    One of those words i'm working on..Wanting over NEED and necessity. I'm getting better. Breaking a bad cycle when I was making that 4 figure income now i'm down to 3..big change.
Money management at its best. I have always loved thrifting, and I believe that its better for the environment,for the people and for the glow of my Ora to buy second hand .. I choose second hand over new over 95% of what I own. For people that have a difficult time buying second hand, it really saves you money and seriously who does not need more money?

Amongst the staying home and relaxing i've been applying for jobs...... so, ive been busy and spending my time wisely .....

Walking at night, A light recipe and the happanin's

Monday//Walking at night means no fun photos. Meh, I enjoy adding photos to my blog. I'm a visual kinda girl myself. I like visualizing what people are doing.
I got home last night from work around 9:20Pm and I really wanted to go for a walk. I basically forced my husband to come with me. Telling him if he didn't I could end up kidnapped!
So, he got up and tagged along. We walked at a brisk pace for 40 minutes and then down a steep incline. My husband is over 6 feet tall so, his stride is a lot easier for him than myself. I basically felt like I was running with my 5'5 stature.
We didn't have a flashlight or flasher of any sorts like your supposed to have. So, one will be invested in shortly. Something like a baton light-not like a maglite but, anyways...

Wednesday//I am back on track with my diet and  i'm feeling better than I had last week.
When Nick and I went walking on Monday night I strained my hip in some way to where the joint hurt pretty bad and was giving me hell. So, I didn't walk on Tuesday and tonight, if its not raining tonight, another night walk will be in order.
For breakfast yesterday (Tuesday) I had an avocado with some sea salt and my usual 5 cups of coffee with creamer.
For lunch I had two home prepared chicken salad wraps with spring mix organic greens, baked chicken strips (from the deli) and poppyseed kraft everything dressing. Along with a glass of ice tea.
For Dinner I had another avocado (i've been on an avocado kick for a while) along with a handful of chocolate drizzled popcorn.
For snack I had a mocha from my favorite coffee stand (Caffeinated Culture)

I also had BBQ'd (On our electric stand bbqer outside) chicken I had marinated but, turned out to be to salty for me so, I gave it to the boys.

I woke up super late- blame that on a catching up marathon with my husband of the prime time shows we have missed. Today for lunch I am making Ceviche YUMM!

                                                                     CEVECHE

I am most likely spelling it wrong but, this is how you make it (I adapted it from a favorite Hispanic co-worker at my last job *Miss her*)

3 limes-small
1 Bushel of cilantro
1 onion (I use purple)
3 tomatoes (I use Roma)
1 small can of diced chilies or Jalapenos- the chilies give it a KICK
1 large can of tuna
1 small can of tuna
Salt, pepper

-------------------- Pull cilantro leafs from bushel after washing PLEASE WASH ALL VEGGIES. Chop,  Set aside
-------------------- Cut onion, then dice into small chunks "Burrito size" is what I call them, Set aside
--------------------Dice your tomatoes, set aside
--------------------Drain your can of hot green stuff (Chilies or Jalapenos)
--------------------Drain both cans of tuna-Dump into a large bowl
....................Slowly add your ingredients, I start with Onions then tomatoes,then cilantro,then a small amout of chilies, then add salt pepper then juice the limes over the mix.

Eat with tortilla chips- I favor white or blue corn.

BAM! you have yourself a Delicious and healthy light meal! I could eat this stuff for breakfast,lunch and dinner. It keeps in the fridge for about 2 days so,I suggest you share with a buddy or you eat it for all meals :) Like I will be doing..

Today is my day off so, i'll be making more sun tea today (hopefully the sun will come out) and crafting to my hearts content while listening to Gregory Alan Isakov ... swoon..

Unmotivated and in pain

I am pretty unmotivated right now.
I have been spending a lot of time sewing and watching movies. Watching what I eat but,not real good at that part.
I am premenstrual (TMI) So..everthing looks good and I have cravings that I can't kick.
Not the chocolate kind of cravings which,is the generic "Pre-meni" food...
nope, we are talking Chinese food... yep..that's my dirty birdy craving along with baked sweets.

My back has been on fire for the last 3 days. That is a big time unmotivator. I told myself i'd get up early and go out for a walk today. I am hurting so bad I feel like a senior trying to bend over to pick somthing up off the floor-yeah,that happned this morning...I probably looked like I needed my walker with me too. PAINFUL.

I haven't been sewing much lately and was a bit inspired to do so yesterday. I enjoy sewing,drinking coffee and watching something on netflix. That is my thang for the past 2 days. Then I get up,shower,get dressed and take off to work.

Eating healthy is expensive. Fresh produce costs so much its ridiculous. I was dreaming up what kind of fresh things i could get today as I just got paid-thank goodness! There is a pattern to my unmotivational 3 days. -Waiting to get paid-Working-Not getting up early-Staying up way to late-wearing the wrong shoes to work,,AGAIN! - and the heat!
I wear my bulky Winterhawks hoodie,cropped sweat pants and a tank under my hoodie while I walk--needless to say-it gets hot quick. It wouldn't be so bad if I could get up at 7am and just Go! tomorrow is a new day and surely i'm going to make a promise and just GO!

So, here I am...in my jammies..sipping coffee..looking at my mess of a desk because of the sewing I did yesterday..should really clean this up..motivation ;-)

IF you feel like you too are unmotivated just think to yourself how good it felt those days you were walking....how good the sunshine felt, the breeze and the love for the music that got your blood pumping...that's motivation...


Shopping List

Asparagus
Cucumbers
Celery
Grapes
Grapefruit
Lemons
Melon..maybe..
Eggs
Coffee
Water
Shallots
Mushrooms
Green Beans
Oranges
Banannas
Going to make ceveche- Roma Tomatoes
                                      Onions
                                      Diced peppers (canned)
                                      Tuna
                                      Celantro
                                      Limes
 
 ..............................Motivation

I actually reasoned with myself this morning about WHY I needed to walk....So I did..

REASONING,...........GUILT,............HEALTH,.....SWEAT,

AMBITION......DESIRE......ENDORPHINS.....

I could go on,and on about WHY I needed to go out and get my butt moving...I actually reasoned with myself. "Danielle,You did not walk yesterday,you felt like you hadn't accomplished anything for the day yesterday (even though you did a ton) and you know why you felt that way? because you DIDN"T WALK! "... Okay...Okay..so,yeah..I talk to myself and reason with myself. It is human nature and let me to you..that is a very good thing to have..that little voice in your head that is telling you POSITIVE things ..not bad things ..like "just feed it..you want that sweet maple deliciously fluffy pastry..." yep..did that yesterday too but,I counted the calories and I only had ONE. Its nice to be naughty now and then.

I feel so good..I got out the door about 10 mins after 8Am..I knew it was going to warm up quick-when you are wearing sweats and a sweatshirt with no zip..it gets warmer quicker. I did my 2 1/2 mile walk like i've been doing for the past week. It felt good. I could tell my muscles forgot about the hills,the incline and then pace I like to go because they are sore right now. Sore is good..HURTING is not..don't ever do anything

that HURTS that is PAINFUL if it burns in that "good way" then yep,your on track friend! ..I am on Track..again..It feels good to be back into my rotation of exercise. I count what I eat in my calorie tracker and I reason with myself. I am not depriving myself because really,all diets FAIL because if you deprive yourself of every ounce of desire you have for a treat now and then..you will say "Screw it!" and your diet and life change WILL be over... I've been on that road..just go threw my old posts you will see...Its been almost an year (few months shy) exactly since I was on my diet kick last year...its no good... Really... be true to yourself. 

HUMAN ... being human you will have slip ups,regrets,desires,sadness,times of weakness, hopelessness,  and i'm sure tons of other key words I can't think of right now .. just keep trucking along!

I don't have matching clothes when I walk,I don't have a tight,lean body, my thighs rub together gently and I don't brush my hair before I throw it into a pony. I am not stylish and I don't care. I walk down a street that is full of cars all the time-one of the reasons I do-because of all the foot traffic and cars-I feel safer. I have sun glasses that I wear that are out of style now that I got a Ross for like $10 3 years ago. I don't run because I don't like the way my butt jiggles, I have holes in my cropped sweat pants-they are too comfy-just like your favorite old T-shirt.. devine...I am not a super model and I do not care what others think. I only care about how I feel about myself but,I do have a lower self image of myself. What hurts me the most when i'm trying to get fit is being laughed at by my brother-lately he hasn't been so nice. He isn't supportive and he hurts my feelings. But you know what I tell myself and say? I AM THE ONE WHO IS WALKING AND NOT SITTING ON HER REAR END!!! SO TAKE THAT! I am human... I am a 26 year old gal that has been struggling with her weight for a long time. I mean..a LONG time.. My mother put a poor self image in my head when I was little..she has been on a "diet" all her life. My mom is not overweight and she is under the national average in size of pant-which is a 12. I have gone to fat camp..I have been called names..I use to wear sweaters and jackets during the SUMMER when I was in middle school and high school because my self image was poor..I didn't like my little chub roll- I was a size 13 when I was 16 and I didn't like the fact I had huge boobs when I was 12..for a 12 year old I was a B..yep.. those things were popular for all the wrong reasons.
SELF BODY IMAGE is a very mind blowing thing. You either LOVE yourself or you HATE yourself. I have imperfections-I have a muffin top,back fat, huge boobs, I am pear shaped-almost no butt and I don't like my muffin top the most. If I didn't have it..I wouldn't mind being who I am.. but,I do so...this is how i'm changing me. One day at a time, one food choice at a time and lots of patients. I would rather have a SLOW WEIGHT LOSS that a fast,dramatic weight loss becaue a fast weight loss is a bad weight loss, you will be more inclined to gain it back QUICK if you have slip ups and the slower weight loss..you will have a better chance of keeping the weight off with your diet change and routine exercise. 
When I loose 20 lbs I am going to start jogging for as long as I can. I need that feeling of advancement, and encouragement. Its almost like being promoted to a new job..the same o'l job gets boring does it not? so,once you get advanced you feel like you are on top of the world and you'll eventually get bored,and want more right??? come on..say YES! YES YOU ARE RIGHT! because..its human nature to advance and to be better than you were yesterday.  
After I got back from my walk this morning I ate:

2-Fried eggs with pepper
12oz Strawberry spring green vanilla soy milk smoothie.
5 cups of coffee-my usual
and water..

Lunch will be a green salad with canned pink salmon and a vinegarette.
Dinner will most likely be a salad with nuts.

Been doin' other stuff ....Portland Market at the Waterfront, Crafts,Husband and Wife time

So, i've been pretty busy the past 48 hours.

I haven't walked alone for 2 days.
Yesterday Nicholas and I went to Downtown Portland for the Market at the Waterfront. I was jonesing for some produce..none to be found. Apparently the one to go-to is the market on Saturdays at Portland State University Campus...so...that shall be sometime in the very,very near future.
I am whole hardheartedly all for the homegrown,home fed,loved produce that comes from farmers here in Oregon.
The closest thing I got to a farm is some lovely Goat soap my husband bought me from a co-op farmer that raises and cares for the goats that he milks, that he then turns into the luscious soap. its heavenly!

There bussiness card says "Heirloop Produce Goat Milk Soap Classes & Workshops" @Peoples co-op farmers market wednesdays 2-7pm & Portland Saturday Market Weekends, Mar-Dec." Kirk Saunders :: Julie RedTree k.Redtree@gmail.com.

I highly recommend there soap its luscious.

I tried my best to eat healthy while we were downtown- for 6 hours!!! nearly nonstop walking and nonstop laughs. A friend,her boyfriend and daughter met us down there to join in. It was a good Sunday well spent.

Thia Iced Tea (im an addict!) and fresh cut fruit from stands YUMMO!

Once we got home I wanted to be comfy. It was warm out (85*!)and I didn't care to even put clothes on but,the people that can see into our second story apartment, i'm sure wouldn't feel so swell about a naked chubby chick (well,maybe some would) One fashion foe pa I will NEVER be caught dead in outside other than if I had a long dress over them. ...........

LEGGINGS! I mean really..on some girls they are wicked cute with a hip length top but,this chick-no bueno! 
My husband says I have lovely legs..I tend to agree but, I don't like the thought of my panty line showing,chub showing,or them being swallowed by my butt..icky. 
They are mighty comfy though! 
  
I didn't go for a walk today..I woke up intending to...and then I woke up to a vibration..2 hours later..I was laying on top of my cellphone... I must have been THAT sleepy. I remember cruising Pinterest..don't we all?... I intend on going for a walk tonight once it cools off with husband.

 Today I ate:

Boiled Asparagus for breakfast-yep I did that
Coffee and creamer-my staple
Roasted chicken off the bone-eh it was okay..
Sauteed Mushrooms-could live for
Raspberry Italian Soda-I needed a pick-me-up
Ice tea
Maple bar-cravings
Water

..........I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I know I did! 

I ate under 1000 calories and was full all day!!! ....I wasn't going to walk..then I felt guilty!

Yep!
That is right.. Yesterday I ate under 1000 calories and felt full. Not deprived and energetic.

This is what I ate:
Breakfast:
Coffee as usual
Strawberry protein shake.
Water

Lunch:
Spicy Tuna Sushi made with brown rice
Water

Dinner:
Boiled asparagus with homemade garlic aoli
Pan seared wild scallops with lemon,butter,garlic sauce-homeade
Ice Tea

I didn't eat any snacks today because I was not hungry.
My walk yesterday contributed to my less than usual calorie intake. As you exercise that deducts from the calorie counter on my tracker app.

I decided to curl my hair and put on a face (makeup not on here)

Today started off with a pitty party and then a trip to my favorite fabric store to get some trim for a trim swapp.
I then stopped and had a burger at a BBQ joint solo because I was craving a hamburger....  am real here and im not going to lie to anyone reading this. I am not calling it a slip up either.

Breakfast: Monkey bread- a very very small portion. Coffee
Lunch: . . not good but..again i'm real here.. Regular sized non fat frozen yogurt in a waffle cone to wipe my blues away. courtesy of Husband
Dinner: BBQ'd FRESH hamburger with onions,mushrooms,lettuce,tomatoes,Swiss cheese and pickles with a bun.


After getting back from the fabric store my brother and I ran to the grocery store where I purchased a bushel of spinach. ........
...........when I got home I went for a walk............ 2 1/2 miles

I feel better and less guilty.

I made a 16oz smoothie: 

Strawberry,Orange,Banana, Spinach and vanilla soy shake
6-frozen strawberries
3/4 cup vanilla protein milk
1/2 of a very ripe banana
1-peeled and segmented orange
1 cup of spinach 
------------------------------------------YUMMY!!!!!

Strawberries were on sale at WINCO so, I bought 8lbs of them at $1.50 a 2lb box! I decided to leave a package out to eat fresh and then I froze the rest of them. But,before the freezing I washed them and let them dry then I cut the tops off. I like using frozen strawberries in my smoothies. They make the smoothies cold and you don't need to add ice that makes it icky!

These are frozen. Aren't they perddy?



STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF AND DONT GIVE UP

Good Morning. Good Day... Feeling a little less Chubby today..1lb down again..

This chubby girl pulled herself out of bed with those invisible strings that a puppet master pulls ya know?
Put my walking clothes on, stuffed my headphones in my ears and ran (more like walked) down the stairs to the world of Pandora,watching cars and walking like no other.

I went further this morning. I walked approx 2 1/2 miles this morning. I only jogged for a short moment because im forming an epic blister on the right heel that was getting pretty sore.
As I walked past one of our Colleges out here a creeper was walking towards me. With earbuds in but not  turned on that high..I could hear he was trying to talk to me. I kept walking. Acting like I couldn't hear him. I turned the corner down a neighborhood to get away from him. He got the idea and crossed the street to the other sidewalk. I got me phone out of my bra and acted like I was calling someone. He turned the corner and then disappeared into a parking lot. Yeah, maybe he didn't have bad intentions but,when your a female and walking alone. You need to watch for other things than just cars. At every road entry or street entry I come to I always, always check behind me to make sure there isn't a car coming at me. Normally I would walk towards traffic so I wouldn't feel so scared but, I went a different route this AM and had to be going with traffic. 
Anyhoot... What do you listen to when you exercise? I listen to one of my MANY stations on Pandora..It has been on Britany Spears for a few days now and I plan on leaving it on that station. Britany may be loca but,her songs have good beats and tend to get me moving faster and I feel better about what i'm doing for myself. 
It doesn't matter what other people think but, we all have those moments.
The one jog I did this morning my butt was jiggling so bad I just stopped. I should get some control shorts to go under my cropped sweatpants. (Who invented those sweatpants anyways??? I mean really?! Cropped?) 
Whenever your out on a walk or exercising of any sorts no matter where..make sure you are comfortable because there is nothing worse than not being comfortable. 
  Yesterday was another small food battle I LOVE to cook and bake. Luckily, my husband is healthy and doesn't need to worry about being thin so, when I bake..he takes it for "the team" I made Orange Monkey Bread from scratch.. I had a couple pieces. I could have eaten the whole thing and then felt so sick afterwards but, I wanted a little sweet. moderation is key to weight loss and not depriving yourself of everything nummy.
I love fruit. I was raised nearly vegan (my mothers doings) and I love vegetables!   so, this life change is not as hard as it sounds..

 RECIPE
Breakfast:
Strawberry protein shake.  
6-fresh strawberries-washed of course!!! (very important!) 
200 ml (less than 1 cup roughly 3/4) of Ultra Soy Vanilla milk
1/4 cup of Grape Nuts cereal.
I added the cereal because I wanted texture and a different flavor as I have NO added sugar in this recipe.
It is pretty darn good. I suggest you try it! 

I enjoy listening to music,walking and being in my own world.
I had things I wanted to write on this blog today and now it slips my mind a little.

What is my weightloss plan and goals?
well easy.. There is an App for that!  
MyFitnessPal is pretty awesome. you track your calories and basically anything you put in your mouth and how much water you drink.
You weight in when you feel like it and eventually after a few days of writting everything down that you eat..you just keep on check in to the app to see how many calories you consume.
My goal is to be at 190 lbs.
why 190?
Because I was so comfortable at that weight and I felt so good in my skin. I wore a size 13 and had a little belly that I didn't mind.  I had a boyfriend that liked to go out to eat. Food is around us everywhere. We love food! The world LOVES food. It is the absolute ONE THING everyone on this planet has in common. We have to eat to survive. 
I try my best to eat whole foods. Clean foods and no processed junk. 
      

Keep on working at it..it comes of slow and steady if you KEEP ON TRACK
I have lost 6lbs now. I wont see any change until probably the 15th pound but,that's okay this will all be worth each and every droplet of sweat, ever inch of tingeling skin, every person that probably thought "look at that chubby chick run as her boobs are flapping in her face but damn..look at her go"...it will be all WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  

Someday my face wont jiggle when I run and my boobs wont hit me in the face..

Lets face it.
Stuff moves. . . .
A body in motion stays in motion...
well, as i took a run down Stark stuff was jumping. I was listening to a song by The Pussy Cat dolls because there beats get me moving and I could care less. For a few minutes..maybe seconds. I dont know how long I was really running. I felt like no one was stairing at my butt or my boobs as they jump with me into the air.
I didn't care.
......................DONT CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK
because, they are the ones driving as you are running or walking and your the one burning calories...see? 
I invested..yes, purchasing an ipod or a spiffy set of running headphones is an investment because your making the investment in yourself to become better than you were yeseterday.
New headphones............ 

  Luckily for me..I work at a Fitness/Sports store that has things like these I get discounts on. So, I didn't have to pay as much. They range from $30-$50- YurBuds. Totally worth it Gals! They don't fall out when you run! I keep my iPhone in my bra as I listen to Pandora and even the tug on the wires didn't make them come out of my ear holes.. I suggest getting yourself a pair if you don't already own a good set. SkullCandy isn't all they are made out to be...so I suggest something else..

After a long day yesterday. I came home and passed out on the couch as my husband was watching some oddball "scary" movie we rented from RedBox. I woke up about an hour later and had cravings. I am not much of a chocolate lover but really...I wanted chocolate. My husband wanted Ice Cream.. oh no..yeah..Ben and Jerry...my two fav. men.. Half Baked..always the go-to goody when your having urges....  I ate a little over 1/2 cup and woke up this morning feeling that my butt needed to get up and MOVE! so, I did.
I went a further distance this time and took a very steep incline as my beginning route. I thought my legs were going to have seizures of there own. I briskly walked on. My original intention was to run up the hill and really burn but...it was STEEP..

Breakfast:
Green Kale fruit shake
1-Orange, peeled,in segmants.
3-frozen strawberries-unsweetned.
3/4 of vanilla ultra soy milk
1 cup of chopped kale.
Ta da! breakfast under 200 calories!

I try to make breakfast my biggest meal of the day because it should be...but after last night..no good..

This is me....in all my glory after getting home from my jog/walk. I have a tire middle and thin,muscular legs.
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND YOU WILL  ACHIEVE GREATNESS!

The struggle is real...and im going to conquer this beotch! I hope you do too!

Its been to long. This chicks body is telling her "No more processed crap!" ..I gave into the voices and have been eating clean for 2 days now.

Oh, im 1 year older now...crap!
One of the hardest things about being OVERWEIGHT (but very loved) is that its hard to exercise without still feeling bad about yourself.
Maybe you will understand when I say: you don't like it when people can see your chunk rolls bouncing and the sweat dripping down your face after a mile long brisk walk? get my drift?

I woke up this morning with the ambition that I was going to get up,get dressed and WALK..not just a Eeyore walk, i'm talking about a fast,feeling my heart beat,music pumping,fist pumping "yeah,I rule this world beotches" kind of walk! ..... 9:40am I was out the door and on my way north. Up an incline, facing traffic as they past me by.
My theory when a big gal or guy is walking down the road, with there headphones in carrying a bottle of water is "you go girl!" or "you go boy!" but, its been a while since I myself was that person those people were passing..
I had my new pink and grey tennies on with a ratty old winterhawks hoodie and some cropped workout pants I bought last year around this time when I went on my diet and exercie regimine. ..Theres a problem in that sentance. Did you hear it? no, not my awful run on sentances... the "last year" part.... LAST YEAR!! I could have been fit and fancy by now ..right?

I walked a total of about 1 mile and a half today. I am pretty proud of myself. I walked up a "steep" incline and walked down a steep incline at a very brisk,fast pace and im feeling it and I am PROUD PROUD of myself. There is nothing more liberating than doing somthing for the first time all over again and telling yourself "you dum dum, why did you ever stop?" oh because of "life"... yeah..."life" but, I hate looking at those fit and thin gals, even the curvy and perfect gals that have worked hard for there bodies..or some not so much. To finally be back on this path is amazing!

Stay away from fast food! seriously.Sometimes those fries may smell good but,after you take in half the container...your body is already gagging itself... yuck! I had one of those moments. Husband and I went out to eat somewhere, I can't even remember where. And I felt awful afterwards! you know, like a carb coma awful... haven't experienced it... DON'T! ...Part of my ENCOURAGEMENT is that I work at a fitness store where all kinds of people of all shapes and sizes come in to buy sporting equipment and clothes...I want my butt to look like that in a year..PLEASE?!

Some people in your lives maybe telling you "your perfect. Just the way you are" but really..when your little people in your ear are telling you "hello, wake up! time to get active..put down that frappachino and go with somthing like an iced tea... " ( Passion Fruit Iced Tea Lemonade with vanilla syrup is delicious and lower in calories if you need a morning fix. Or maybe go with an Americanno?) Only YOU are going to be able to change your body image and the way you feel about yourself.
SELF ESTEEM ....that word..my self esteem is this... Some days I feel really good about myself and then other days I feel awful. .. . No more awful.
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Breakfast today was 2 fried eggs with a TAD bit of butter to fry and black pepper. 4 cups of coffee with vanilla creamer.
Lunch- will be.. a green smoothie with chard,vanilla soy milk, banana, and I haven't thought of what else I want to put in it yet.
Dinner-  Green Spring Mix salad (I don't eat iceberg) Grilled chicken with quinoa and a vinaigrette of some kind. 

Snacks- will be Justins Peanut Butter (im an addict) purple grapes and yellow tomatoes.

Oh Dear..this isn't good!

Nope my diet has officialy fallen off the bandwagon about 7 days ago when my husband left to go on vacation to see his family in the southern states...
Fried chicken
sugary snacks
ice cream
fast food..
its not pretty people!!!!
I keep telling myself "i'll get back on it" and haven't..
i'm burnt out on salad..tired of the stuff...can't stand it right now.. i need to revamp my diet..
My husband will be home today and im so very excited!! and were going grocery shopping togeather so we will see what happens and I will be adding new additions to my diet. Different veggies and fruits to spice it up a bit! i'll post a little note as to what I have gotten..

For breakfast..
5 cups of coffee..because im addicted to caffine
Red Raspberries fresh from the plastic container I bought them in
A granola Bar

...for lunch
Because I spent the bucks on it..
Salmon from a pouch..the first time i've had fish in over 2 weeks..
this time i'm not over doing it and im going to watch myself....
1/2 cup homemade salsa with peppers,jalapenos,onions and tomatoes with Blue corn chips
A large salad with fat free Italian dressing
...........water water water water water!!!!!!

....... Reweigh in 22 days and I have a feeling it won't be any loss..if not gain back a couple of what I have lost... not feeling very happy about that but, im only human!

Down 5 lbs

......................and i've had nearly no sugar except the AM 4 cups of coffee with real cream flavored artificially with Vanilla. The occasional coffee run during work or Chi Fridays-as I call them.
I have eaten probubly more veggies and fruits than my rabbit has straw. All in all.. I feel pretty good. I haven't had a skin break out in the past 2 weeks and I have so much more energy than I use to.
When I was naughty the other night and bought a small box of Oreo's because I was craving them badddd... I ate them and felt AWFUL! That is just a reminder that...thats not good to eat things like that.
The first week of my diet I was stern with myself! VERY stern! and as the "monthly" sat in and I felt like crum anyways it was hard to resist chocolate.
Anyways...................

So tonight, I had relized that I hadn't eaten since 9am today..and had hardly drank any fluids which is VERY BAD considering I get raging migrains if I don't eat and my blood sugar drops faster than I can put on socks if I hadn't eaten. So, once my vision started getting blurry and I felt very nervous and arrhythmic I knew I needed to eat, and I needed to eat NOW.
So, I fixed myself a chicken salad with my fav. dressing for dinner..munching on it as I type away... its so darn nummy! I haven't had poultry for a while and I have not had any red meat in over 3 weeks. I was raised on homegrown beef once I moved to Vancouver,Washington in 2001 and LOVED steak! it was a weekend staple when my dad would have friends over and we'd BBQ. Now a days, i'm so "burnt" out on red meat and having heard of the "pink slime" aka)ammonia put in beef..im pretty sure I won't be touching the stuff unless it comes from my families farm-where might I add- The animals are treated with dignity and respect- so much respect that they become almost like dog's to my aunt. A few of the heifers are very much loved and get treated like children. They are pasture raised,free roaming-not beyond the property line, and are fed as much as a child.

Anyways..off my soap box on that...
I also have vowed NEVER to eat pork again! after seeing video's of worms coming out of pork cuts and the awful things that happen to Pigs while they are in the slaughter houses-no thanks-

Eating Poultry is hard too after seeing video's of how some chickens are raised-especially videos of Foster Farms ..not so neat..though i'd hope that those awful things that were being done to the chickens has changed and is more humane.

.........again off my soap box..
So i'm finishing my night up..after running around for the majority of the day since 9Am and cleaning house,laundry and late evening sewing session... im spent!
Time to chug my water so I dont wake with a headache tomorrow, as i'm back to work...and finishing this delish salad.........

The diet is still on..and in progress........ :)

Day 13................... This is honesty!

Honesty is key here people so i'm going to be honest.
I had a couple slip ups!
I was craving chocolate so bad (that time of the month) that I went out and bought some and devoured it and after  I had done so, I was so sick to my stomach and wishing I hadn't!
Then a few days later my Mother was in town from ways away and made us dinner the night she stayed, well there was bread involved from New Seasons (Locally owned natural food store..mostly) and  well lets just say I couldn't resist! I LOVE bread its awful!
So, after eating bread I felt even worse! talk about carbs!
The next day wasn't much better! Nick and I (my husband) ran to New Seasons to go get my Lemon Juice for my water that  I drink like a sivv and I got a bialy ...a delicious garlic and onion filled individual round bread..ya not so happy with myself about that but, when you have cravings you really can't help!
I am that type of OCD person that when I think about something..I have to have it!
So, I confessed to my mother what I had eaten and of course posted it on FB and had received comments regarding my slip up which was helpful and made me feel a bit better.
So back on the bandwagon I went on Tuesday Morning. I haven't been eating breakfast like I had been because im running out of the resources and payday, unfortunately, isn't until Monday which is my shopping day of course for the month! (lots of "!!!!!!!!!" in this bloggy post!) so, I have to wait a few more days. I do have eggs-which was the key for my breakfast but have not been wanting to eat. I have been "eating" Coffee for the past few mornings, Coffee fills my belly up and makes it a wee bit difficult to stuff somthing healthy down my throat, I brew my own coffee (well my hubby does while im in the shower every morning) so, here I am.
I've fallen off the wagon basically, compleatly and I'm not happy about that and VERY disappointing in myself, it was bound to happen even if I hadn't planned that..just does.
So, yesterday for lunch I made up a good o'l lunch from a recipe a gal at works mum makes.

I don't know the name of it, its probably something in Spanish I wouldn't be able to pronounce anyways ;-)

Spicy Tuna 

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1 can-Jalapenos Diced.

2-Roma Tomatoes 

1/2 cup diced Purple Onion/Red onion which ever

1 lemon

1 lime

1 can- LARGE- can of Tuna-I used Light Albacore tuna

Dice Tomatoes, Dice Onion,Squeeze lemon and lime to taste into bowl with tuna

-- Add Jalapenos to taste, I only used 1/2 the can of Hot Jalapenos because i'm kind of a wuss on the hot meter! 

... I ate this with Blue corn chips- corn chips ARE NOT carb free! BUT! the meal itself was pretty healthy! 

I ate this for lunch yesterday and will be eating it again today, it makes as a good meal or snack for the person watching there figure. 

Back onto the wagon today, with no cheating! its almost near the date I weigh myself for the monthly weigh-in we will see what will happen with that- however I am not having issues with my work clothes and feeling bloated anymore which is fantastic! Not to mention, a few folks at work have asked if I've lost weight and that is inspirational!

Good Day folks!